out with the girls

It was like any other Wednesday night with the girls, except that for the first time in a long time, four of us found ourselves recently single [yes, I too am recently single and no, I will not talk about it].
Downing wine and Mojitos and whatever else came our way, we each gave advice to one another like in a twisted domino game, each knowing exactly what the other should do, but barely willing to accept that same advice for ourselves.
The thing about breakups is that they are never perfect. Unlike the harmony with which you start a relationship, the end seems disentangled and all over the place. Obviously I'm not suggesting it should be pleasant, but wouldn't it be great if it was as easy to get in than to get out?
My friend Glams had six months of pure passion: he swept her off her feet, did everything in his power to make her feel like she was the queen of the world, until she finally let go of her defenses and gave in, enjoying the feeling. Then something changed. The honeymoon phase slipped out.  What was supposed to turn into phase-two of the relationship, where a sort of routine takes form and concessions are made, actually turned into the terminal phase. Why? Because her man did not want phase-two. He loved euphoric, passionate, crazy-in-love-part-one, but isn't ready to adapt to the pattern of the real relationship. When efforts become required to keep things going, he checks out.
My other friend, Classy, had a different story. She left her man because she just didn't feel like they were right for each other --not in the now anyway. And he, as the complete opposite of Glams' man, is willing to make every effort to make it work.
But here's the thing: no effort, or too much effort? Trop, ou trop peu, gate le jeu. There is no middle in these stories. The one who thinks a relationship can and should work with no efforts whatsoever, or it's just not supposed to work. Or the other who thinks he can change everything about himself to fit into the image his girl wants. And the same goes for girls. Extremes can't possibly work. Because even if Classy had let him make every effort and become who she wants him to be, then at some point in time, the guy will eventually go back to his true self --you can't change who you are. And then he would be very frustrated for having pretended to be someone else for so long. In both cases, it doesn't work.
It's funny how we never get to watch phase-two in movies... maybe it's because it's the boring part? We get to watch the first phase, the last phase, but never the part when the relationships needs a little effort, a little compromise, a little routine. When we watched Disney movies as kids, the princess always married the prince in phase one... and they lived happily after. My question is: how?