shifting the blame

So apparently men want women to know that as long as they are chill, easy-going and simple, the world is perfect and the ball is in their court. Which is great advice, truly. But in case the relationship fails, the woman gets dumped, or the man is driven to do the unthinkable, like cheat for example, well then, it must be the woman's fault... Because she wasn't chill enough. Or simple enough. Or cool enough. 


Men are Masters at Shifting the Blame. They all have PHDs in how to turn around every situation and always make it seem like it was the woman's fault, no matter how it starts. And I have proof. Rats and non-rats alike have admitted to me that they have the skills required to turn any fight into a losing battle for the lady. Even if she started it (which I'll admit, we usually do), and even if, and I quote, "even if she is completely right," they will always find a way to make her apologize without even knowing what for. Ever notice when you're so angry at your man and you start explaining yourself, when suddenly he cuts you off and gives you one argument after another, and you end up so confused you can't remember why you're fighting? Shifting the Blame Professionals, I'm telling you.

Just like the mouse wieseled it into his post. If women could just realize that men hate "the complaining, the stubbornness, lack of attention flip-out" and just not do it, then the world of relationships would be perfect. Hmmm. And women should just let men be themselves. And if the man acts like an asshole, cheats, leaves her with three kids and runs off to another side of the planet, she must be to blame... of course... because the ball is her court. "A man can only raise his standard to the point a woman allows him to.” (The wise words from Red in That 70s Show) Men are so good at doing that, it's frightening. At first glance, it seems flattering: means that if they do anything right, it's thanks to you... and if they do anything wrong, it's because of... you? 

Now I agree with a few things the mouse said: a woman who knows how to entice a man will turn any Rat, any player, any man out there into a lover boy, and he will be happy to be. But remember that it is all relative. If you're writing in the context of being super-happy-in-love, you are just not in the same mind-frame as a broken-hearted-singleton or a newly-single-and-enjoying-it, or even a married-divorced-and-blase perspective. 

A lot of the time, the woman is to blame. Yes, we can be annoying, stubborn, complaining girlfriends, and those are flaws men have also, by the way. And if women should let men be themselves, men should let women be themselves as well. And that includes jealous outbreaks, bursting-out in tears for no reason, the notorious PMS, and putting on those couple of winter kilos. 

I'm not trying to say that women are the eternal victims of some evil male scheme. But for once, it would be nice to see a man accept responsibility for his actions, and not shift the blame. Admit that she complained because he really exaggerated. Admit that he left her, not because she wasn't easy-going and simple and cool, but because he got bored. Admit that just because she's wrong, doesn't mean he's right.