It's that time of the month again. I've asked the boys to weigh in and give their own views from time to time, so that every one gets a say and I keep things on an even field... This month's guest blogger is my dear friend, Lupe Don Pappa. I assure you, he is the one who came up with his own pseudonym, as I would have never, in my wildest imaginative creations, could've come up with a name like that... In any case, Lupe Don Pappa has decided to give us his own take on "friends with benefits," a topic I actually wanted to write about before, but had no personal experience on the matter...
Today’s topic of conversation will revolve around a concept so often misunderstood, so easily misjudged, yet a concept that brings such joy to both parties involved .. the concept of “The Friend with Benefits”.
For those who have never heard of it, friends with benefit(s) (it’s really only one additional benefit) are “friends by day, sex partners by night”, “typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment”. What a great concept. (Friendship + sex) – (commitment + feelings) - It’s basically a care free way of enjoying life.
Before getting into too much detail, it is important to point out that the concept of a friend with benefits differs substantially from a “fuck friend” or “fuck buddy”. The etymology of the words says it all - a fuck friend is a fuck before a friend. A friend with benefits is a friend before a benefit. Therefore, a friend with benefits should always be treated as a friend first and foremost, with the utmost respect. Other basics for a healthy “friends with benefits” relationship:
- Avoid the drama - Pick a good friend, (not someone in a relationship – relationships = drama). You need to be sexually aroused by that person and need to be sure that person has, at some point in her life, pictured you naked
- This is not a test drive – Throw expectations out the door. This is not a way to test drive the car before deciding if you want to actually purchase it. This is a mutually beneficial relationship based on SEX and FRIENDSHIP. You start on the wrong foot, someone is bound to get hurt
- Lay down the law – Communicate with your partner before you start. After all, you guys are friends before “fuckers”. Be explicit about the needs and wants, you are not roofy’ing someone in a night club. Rules and regulations are good, don’t break them
- Keep it on the down low – Don’t go brag about it to your friends; keep it a secret (at least in the beginning). No one cares who you’re sleeping with. Seriously.
- Don’t ask don’t tell – It’s none of your business where he was last night or who he was with. He is allowed to see other people, so are you... No need for explanations, just be respectful and don’t splash it in each other’s faces (literal splashing in faces not included)
- Have a signal that’s just your own – Chose a word or an expression that insinuates you need it right now. Like at this exact moment. No one else can know what it is. It’s your little secret.
Now that you’ve determined how to build and maintain that relationship it’s crucial to make sure you are dealing with the right person. Ladies and Gentlemen, below please find 6 basic rules on picking the right friend with benefits:
- Post-Breakup – Any girl that just came out of a relationship is in a state of fragility and needs some extra loving. She is lacking serotonin in her brain, that’s a smart word for the happy hormone. Make sure you’re there to fill her right up
- Just Hot – Any girl (or guy for that matter) that is so hot that the thought of them not getting laid is just implausible
- Daddy’s Girl – Any girl with serious daddy issues, because they always appreciate a good spanking
- FM Pumps – Any girl that wears high heels more than 4 days a week / any guy that unbuttons 2 or more of his buttons and smells like he just got out of the perfume section of Harvey Nichols is a definite candidate (which basically means any Lebanese dude on the planet)
- Fictional Friction – Any girl / guy you’ve masturbated to in the last 4 weeks should be included on the list … in fact any girl / guy that’s walked in on you masturbating in the last 4 weeks should be top of your list
So I say good luck to all in your search and quest, may you be blessed with a life full or friendship and great sex.
And a final note, for the ladies out there, as you can see, there are definitely benefits with being my friend. Ping me.
Lupe Don Pappa
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