I couldn't sleep last night. I spent the last three days telling everyone and their mother that I was going to post 11 resolutions for the new year, that I would have to follow no matter what. The point was to post them all on the blog so I would have witnesses and would feel the pressure to go through with them. I guess I felt so pressured I couldn't sleep all night.
First of all, I couldn't come up with 11 resolutions. I asked my friends to help, and obviously all they could come up with were sexual challenges that included sleeping with a girl, getting spanked, trying the effects of naughty lingerie and some other stuff I prefer not to mention. I guess this post would be a lot more fun for everyone if I agreed to 11 sexual resolutions, but I have to admit I passed on all of them. Not the kind I was looking for.
I was actually hoping for something a little more life challenging, resolutions that would help me put my life on the right track. But who else but me is going to care if I quit smoking, buy a bike or vow to go on a Habitat for Humanity mission?
So there will be no sharing resolutions today. In stead I thought I'd share some of my great wisdom... and I racked my brain for an hour and couldn't come up with anything. So I did what I always do when I lack of inspiration and it's Monday afternoon --I went to the bookstore. I spent a few minutes browsing in the self-help section, of which I already own 90% of all books with titles like "the power of now" and "create a better life," because the simple act of buying the book makes me feel like I've already changed something. Anyway... I spotted a book called The Game, otherwise known as the "single guy's bible." I had already seen that book before, because my ex-boyfriend who never read a book in his life had a copy. He said he started it a couple of days before he met me and that it worked like a charm. Apparently it's a full proof seduction plan to get any woman... Well, I thought, if this book has 11 chapters or more, I'll blog about it. And what do you know? 11 steps, exactly. And the first one is called: "select a target." Wow. I can feel like we are going to have a field day out of this one. So here's the new plan: I'll keep my 11 new year's resolutions to myself, and in stead, I will share with you the 11 steps of this apparently magical book in the upcoming posts. Boys, you might learn something useful. Girls, we're going to learn that boys think of us as targets (step 1), how they plan to extract to a seduction location (step 7) and how they manage expectations (step 11). And maybe, just for fun, I'll play the boys game for a little while --just to see what happens.
This is how Neil Strauss (the author of The Game) starts his book: "I could not become anything: neither bad nor good, neither a scoundrel nor an honest man, neither a hero nor an insect. And now I am eking out my days in my corner, taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything; that only a fool can become something." (Fyodor Dostoevsky)