After my last post, a lot of people asked me if I was going to stop writing the blog. It wasn't my intention to have you think that I don't want to write anymore until I "live something to write about." I was just trying to make a point that we're young, we don't know it all, and it's important to try new things, make mistakes, get up and try again.
Now that being said, I need to live up to my own expectations. Challenge myself to get up and try again, even if I'm scared. There is no hard and fast rule that will guarantee the path to happiness. And when it comes to relationships, as much as we may want to try to figure out the rules of the game, at the end of the day, it's a different game every time. You just have to play and learn as you go. But I think it's important to play your cards right, and not gamble your heart away. My friend told me something pretty wise a couple of days ago: "Two people can't be happy together if they're not happy with themselves first." Being with someone isn't about complying with their lives, their friends, their hobbies, their lifestyles. Every one of us needs to find their own path, and hold on to things that make us who we are. They say "opposites attract." I guess it's because two people who are completely different can find balance in how they complete each other.
Women tend to bend over backwards for the man they're with. They forget their own lives and dreams and hobbies, put them on hold like they don't matter, and start living a life that is not their own. And they do it even though it doesn't make them happy, because they think they want to make a relationship work no matter what.
In my last relationship, I lost myself. I forgot who I was and where I was going, I couldn't remember my goals, I didn't know what made me happy anymore. It's hard to admit, but it's only once I came out of it that I was able to realize how much of myself I lost. And I swore I would never let it happen again. If we lose ourselves along the way, then we're just living an illusion.
It's important to take a step back and realize how much we can be on our own. Not everything has to be an "us." A man cannot be the focus of our lives. We must be the focus of our own lives, and that's the only way it can truly work.
A friend of mine had a very hard relationship to get over. She tried to make it work, but in the end, she realized that what she needed would completely change the other person --and doesn't that defy the point? If you want the person you're with to change, or if you change for the person you're with, then you're only postponing the inevitable. The truth is, it's okay to disagree. It's okay to enjoy different things, and it's okay to do those things on your own. It's actually better, more interesting, and more realistic. Being a couple doesn't mean you have to become one and the same person. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, first learn to be yourself... because only then can you be yourself with someone else.
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