At the very beginning of a relationship, everything seems fun. Nothing the other person does bothers us, we enjoy the time we spend together and we try to make each other happy.
Then, somewhere along the way, something snaps. What used to be a fun, casual, happy relationship turns into this constant stress because we don't know how to make each other happy anymore, we want the other one to make the efforts, we fight about silly things but we can't help it because they bother us so much that we can't control our urge to fight. We spend time together but instead of enjoying it we spend it talking (or arguing) about everything we think is wrong, or bad in our relationship, and we end up unhappy, frustrated, unsatisfied.
Basically what happens, in my humble opinion, is that we go from no expectations to high expectations. When one first starts dating, he doesn't expect anything. So everything that comes is a good addition, a good surprise. Then, we fall into the "efforts" phase and that's always a rocky one.
Sometimes I think it's good to stop, halt, and take the time to remember that even though we're a couple, we're in love, we're "different" than all the others, we are still two people. And by that I mean that even if we'd like to believe that we are"one" we are not, in fact, one. We are two. Hence the term "we." And it's hard enough to find someone who we like to share our time with, with whom we get along most of the time and who makes us laugh --so, we should be lenient if that person doesn't want to do exactly what we want to do at the exact time we want to do it, or if that person turns out not to be able to read our minds (crazy, huh?) or if that person isn't in the mood we'd like them to be in.
Bottom line is: expect less, be happier.
Just my two cents.
Then, somewhere along the way, something snaps. What used to be a fun, casual, happy relationship turns into this constant stress because we don't know how to make each other happy anymore, we want the other one to make the efforts, we fight about silly things but we can't help it because they bother us so much that we can't control our urge to fight. We spend time together but instead of enjoying it we spend it talking (or arguing) about everything we think is wrong, or bad in our relationship, and we end up unhappy, frustrated, unsatisfied.
Basically what happens, in my humble opinion, is that we go from no expectations to high expectations. When one first starts dating, he doesn't expect anything. So everything that comes is a good addition, a good surprise. Then, we fall into the "efforts" phase and that's always a rocky one.
Sometimes I think it's good to stop, halt, and take the time to remember that even though we're a couple, we're in love, we're "different" than all the others, we are still two people. And by that I mean that even if we'd like to believe that we are"one" we are not, in fact, one. We are two. Hence the term "we." And it's hard enough to find someone who we like to share our time with, with whom we get along most of the time and who makes us laugh --so, we should be lenient if that person doesn't want to do exactly what we want to do at the exact time we want to do it, or if that person turns out not to be able to read our minds (crazy, huh?) or if that person isn't in the mood we'd like them to be in.
Bottom line is: expect less, be happier.
Just my two cents.
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