two years of Rhapsodies

It feels like it went by in a flash and I wasn't even sure that I had actually accomplished anything in the last 12 months until I started thinking about it for the blog. Turns out I did okay. I think.

Let's see... Went to Cyprus for a week of delectable vacation, doing nothing but lazying around the beach of Paphos with a bunch of girls. Turned off my phone, stopped checking email, didn't go on Facebook. Remembered what it was like to think about nothing. Shot season 2 of Beirut I Love You. Acting, Casting, Writing. Realized being on a film set is my favorite kind of "workplace". Had my first on-screen kiss. Helped organize a fundraiser that raised more than 400-thousand dollars for children. Wore a (borrowed) designer dress (for the first time) by Reem Acra. Felt like a famous actress walking on the red carpet. Lost my uncle to Cancer a week later. The same exact kind that killed my mother. Met a boy by asking him for a lighter. Had a one-night-stand that never remained as "one night". Went to Thailand with the boys and their girlfriends. Walked on the most beautiful beach I have ever seen. Spent New Year's in a bar with Thai prostitutes/dancers and had my first midnight hug with one of them. Came back to my new crush and started falling in love. Fell in love. Started learning Italian on my iphone. Went to New York for the first time in almost 4 years. Hung-out with one of my best friends in his Brooklyn apartment. Went to my 5-year Grad School Reunion. Did Bikram Yoga at my old Union Square studio. That's yoga in a 45-degree room for those of you unfamiliar with it. Visited Paris for the first time since I was 8 years old. Went to see the old apartment we used to live in. Saw a friend I've kept in touch with but haven't seen in 19 years. Went to the opera for the first time in my life. Did Romantic Paris with my Parisian. Watched Game of Thrones, Dexter, Breaking Bad and Six Feet Under. Won best foreign film at the Beverly Hills Film Festival for "Anoesis." Had two films showing at the Short Film Corner of the Cannes Festival. Quit my job. Got a new one. Celebrated my brother's high-school graduation. Watched my sister get her diploma for finishing her BA. Went to Italy for 2 weeks. Rome, Venise, Bologna, Portovenere, Cinque Terre, Florence. Drove on the Italian highway. Took a 2 hour hike in jungle-like terrain with sandals on. Did the cheesiest thing ever and wrote our names on the"via del' amore". Helped my best-friend/back-up plan pick out an engagement ring. Celebrated my younger cousin's engagement. Went to my prom date's wedding last weekend.

Today I'm at exactly 9 months with my Parisian. 38,875 views on the blog. 128 posts. And two years of Rhapsodies.

"Anoesis" Short Film

                      "Saudade" Short Film

             Hanging out with one of my best-friends in NYC

                Hiking from one Cinque Terre to Another

                   Lazying around the beach in Paphos

 My sister's Graduation

                                 My brother's graduation

                          Writing our names on "Via del Amore"

Beirut, I Love You, I Love You Not

There's a mini-series that's been running on LBC for the last three months, called Beirut I Love You, I Love You Not. It's a show revolving around the lives of five young Lebanese: the good, the bad, the funny, the tragic --you know, life.

I love it because every character has a story we can all relate to. The guy who has a dream but is stuck in his bureaucratic life. The girl whose torn between her new love, and her old love. The guy who made a life for himself from scratch. The mother who wants to live her dreams vicariously through her children. The one who can't let go of his ex. The mom who lives in the past. The hypercondriac who can't find a job and is socially awkward. The dreamer, the lover, the player. There's a little bit of each of them in each of us.

But what I love most about it, is behind the scenes. This isn't a post about a cool TV show you should all watch (though you should) --this isn't that kind of blog. I write about relationships, connections, experience.  And this is all of that. It's become personal.

I've talked about my love for acting before. I've mentioned countless times how my biggest dream was to be an actress, and how it got lost along the way. But these last few months, the dream is back, and it's changed my life. You see, I got lucky enough to get involved because the talented duet who created this series are friends of mine. And their energy and motivation was contagious. I had forgotten what it felt like to be passionate about something. To get up in the morning and be excited about my day. But they reminded me. It's not just the camera, or the acting, or the script, although all of that is great. I wake up at 7am on a Sunday morning because I want to. I rush to the set and I'm excited about everything: putting make-up on the actors, acting when I have a part, helping out with art-direction, and whatever it is I do, it all feels organic. A year ago, I had to drag myself out of bed on any given day, with no sense of purpose and zero excitement. Today I have ideas.

I didn't love Beirut when I came back from New York three years ago. I loved my boyfriend, I loved my family, I loved my friends, yes, always. But I felt like this city was going to rob me from my ambitions. And I let myself believe that for a while. Blamed Beirut for my lack of motivation. It was easier than to look in the mirror and realize that I could do something about it. And then one day, I was inspired. I saw a group of twenty-somethings who took what this city has to offer and turned it to their advantage. Made a dream where there was none. And I realized it wasn't Beirut that was the limit, it was myself.